The Hamster Wheel
by facemygeneration
Summary: Destiel always - Castiel is trying to act more human for Dean. Dean decides to teach him why humans like pets through experience w/ a hamster. He is confused because he feels emotions for Cas. Very fluffy- like a teddy bear! You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again! Welcome to my second story! This one is a little (or a lot) fluff piece that I thought might be enjoyable after my longer and more adult-themed one from before. I'm still writing that one, do not fret, I just need a little break. So, try to enjoy it!**

**Plot: Castiel is trying to learn how to be more human, and Dean is trying to teach Castiel why people like pets. Since he doesn't understand, Dean figures it's best to learn through experience, right?**

**Disclaimer: I have not, do not, and will not ever own Supernatural or any of the characters. Ah, but if I did, the show would go so much differently.**

The Hamster Wheel

Castiel sat in the back of the Impala, awkwardly slouched in a position of reluctant surrender. For the time being, at least. Dean had forced Cas into the car with him. Sam was off icing a nest of vamps and Dean wanted someone to come to the store with him. Castiel wished that he didn't love being here so much, even now. If he didn't have these…attachments…he could simply leave and do something much more productive with his time.

Unfortunately, Castiel's bond with Dean was more than just an attachment. It was profound. No matter how hard he tried, he was either with Dean or he was thinking about Dean. Dean Winchester had nestled into his mind and despite Castiel's constant complaints, he would not leave. It was unlike anything Cas had experienced before.

As long as he was going to be on the road with Dean, Castiel thought he might as well act like Dean. He tried hard to be human, to feel all the feelings. The truth was that they didn't actually matter to Cas unless they involved Dean. Despite this, he continued to try, and pretty soon he was almost an acceptable human. He rode in the car instead of "zapping," he drank beer and watched TV with Dean after tiring hunts, and even though it was physically impossible for Castiel to sleep, he would lie on the bed for an hour or so: as Dean fell asleep and as Dean woke up. He wanted Dean to know that he was there to protect him. He did this, all of it, for Dean.

At the moment, Dean was standing outside the bank at what he called the "bread winner." This term confounded Cas because he saw no signs of producing bread, with or without a competition to decide it. In fact, it looked only like a little metal box spitting out money when Dean told it to. What an obedient little contraption! If it was that easy to get money, Cas wondered why Dean complained so much when Sam borrowed some.

Once Dean got back in the car, Cas decided to share some musings with him. "Dean, why are you so sensitive about Sam taking your money when it seems so simple to produce more from that machi—"

"If you want to have a stupid heart-to-heart you gotta sit where I can see you, Cas. That's the rules."

Cas nodded with frustration. Dean interrupted him so much. He just wondered if he knew that it was disrespectful and pondered telling him or not. He decided against it, for saying something that Dean Winchester didn't want to hear was like handing a nuclear bombs to a violent child. And now that he thought harder about that, he decided that he didn't much desire to ask his previous question again.

Once Cas had awkwardly crawled in the back seat, for some reason not thinking to get out and use the doors, Dean began to drive. He drove for about ten or eleven miles before he got to his destination and parked the car. He got out and knocked on the window, signaling that Cas should come out too.

He turned around, planning on walking to the store, but two inquisitive blue eyes belonging to a man in a trench coat stood in his way. Castiel tilted his head to the side, "Dean, why have you taken me to a store dedicated to only animals?" he asked.

"'Cause, Cas, we need to get bug repellant. I told you. The fricken Boomerang chick or whatever," Dean answered, a little impatient. More people might die if they took too long, after all. Although, he had to admit that it was unlikely. They hadn't discovered anyone else this bitch might have hated.

"It's called a Mambabarang. And they aren't just some 'frickin chick,'" Castiel snipped, making his trademark air-quotations, his voice practically dripping in sarcasm. Dean couldn't tell if he was annoyed or proud. He finally chose the latter, and grinned at Cas to prove it.

He turned his back and began to walk down the row of pesticides, looking for the one that seemed the most lethal. "Yeah, whatever. Witches with hoodoo bugs, I got it. Could we just get what we need and gank this bitch before someone else croaks?"

Dean wasn't even looking at the pesticides anymore, though. He was waiting for Castiel's answer, Castiel's voice. When it didn't come for some time, he turned around. Castiel was nowhere to be seen. Dean slapped his hand at nothing in particular and shook his head. Of course he left, he thought. Why would he want to stay? He probably has much better things to do with his angel buddies.

He was in the middle grumbling inwardly to himself when he heard Castiel call to him from a couple aisles down in a very un-Castiel voice; it sounded almost…excited. Bewildered, and pretty curious what could make Castiel this riled up (since for him, just yelling was like a slut with three shots under her belt), Dean jogged toward the sound.

There, he found Castiel with his hand pressed up against the glass of a terrarium, his bright blue eyes searching the cage in wonder.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean exclaimed, shocked that Cas had actually gotten side-tracked for once in his goddamn life.

He turned around with goofy smile on his face. "Dean! Look at all these furry organisms!"

Cas was clearly delighted by the stupid gerbils and hamsters running around in their little pens. Dean was suddenly very frustrated. Cas had shown no emotion at all in almost all the time they had known each other and all it takes is a couple of fur balls and suddenly he's a crying girl at her prom?

"God, Cas. You're as dorky as Sam, I swear."

Dammit, Cas was cute. Why couldn't Dean get his face to light up like that? What was he thinking; it's not like it mattered. What mattered was that he hunted this stupid Billabong or whatever down. He grabbed the angel's worn old trench coat and pulled him out of the aisle and toward the checkout, Castiel's stupid grin remaining on his face the entire time.

Later, in the car ride back to the motel to regroup with Sam and figure out where the witch actually was, Dean felt his ears start to get warm. He didn't know why it was happening, until he became keenly aware that Castiel was staring at him.

"Cas, what?" demanded Dean, still a little frustrated from the store. He knew that he didn't have any right to be made. Actually, he should be happy Cas had feelings at all. It was a good sign. For Cas, of course. Not Dean. Why would it matter to Dean if Cas had feelings or not?

"I sense you are angry. Did I upset you?" Cas inquired in that voice of his.

Did_ he do something wrong_, Dean asked himself. Not unless he counted taunting Dean with that slow, careful voice that had a slight undertone of sexy. Not unless he counted always looking at him with piercingly blue eyes that made Dean want to get lost in them. Not unless he counted wearing that trench coat anywhere and everywhere he went, making Dean want to pull him into a tight hug, and not the platonic kind. Not unless he counted the way Cas walked with that attitude that let everyone know he owned the room, but he wasn't going to flaunt it. Not unless he counted the way he would always stand too close to him, not understanding the idea of personal space, and Dean would pretend not to like it when he really did. Not unless he counted the times when he smiled and Dean felt an undeniable warmth pass through him, burning his heart and melting the part of his mind that used to think about women only to replace it with Cas. Not unless he counted the stupid mistakes Cas made and the pop culture references he didn't understand that made Dean want to pull him closer and kiss him. Not unless he counted ruining everything that Dean had considered masculine about himself before.

"Nah, just thinking," concluded Dean, hitting the record for the world's biggest understatement in all of history up until that point.

"About what?" asked Cas, scooting a bit closer in his curiosity. Dean wondered if this frickin angel would ever give him a break, and wondered if he wanted him to.

Dean tried desperately to come up with anything that was relevant but not involving a certain deep-seated, semi-unnatural love for a male angel who didn't know how he felt. "...Pets."

"Pets? You mean the beings which humans tame and feed for companionship?" retorted Cas, his voice showing a little surprise.

"Yeah…Those pets," _Off to a great start on this conversation, aren't I?_ "I was just thinking about them 'cause you, uh, seemed so excited by the hamsters in the pet store."

"Hamsters…What curious little animals. I wonder why you keep them around."

"Me too…" said Dean. And he was. Just not about _exactly_ what Castiel had mentioned. He was already knee-deep in the concoction of a plan, and he couldn't wait to bring it into play.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Reviews are good, if one has the time. :) Thank you for reading, and I everyone should know I don't own Supernatural. This chapter is quite a bit shorter, but don't worry, there will be more. Enjoy!**

They successfully hunted down the Mambabarang to an area a couple of barely noticed paths off the highway. They iced it with ease and were on the road again with enough time to spare for a burger.

Although Dean reminded him that it would take no effect on him, Castiel insisted on ordering a bacon cheeseburger. He said that was what he would have done if he were a human on the road with Dean Winchester, and so that is what he would do. Dean tried his best to pretend it didn't matter to him, but the whole thing made him blush so much he thought his face might explode with the amount sheer of blood that was rushing to it.

He told himself to stop embarrassing himself. He had to concentrate; his plan would never work if he was distracted. He smiled and ate his burger, all the while bearming with pride at how smart he was. _Castiel will love me, _he though, I_ mean it. Castiel will love _it_. _

The next day Dean woke up and saw Cas sitting on the sofa and looking at the wall, musing through his thoughts silently. Dean crept up behind him and yelled "Boo!" but Castiel's instincts were fast and he thought that Dean was an intruder who was, ironically, coming to hurt Dean. He whipped around and tackled the "intruder," only to find that it was, in fact, Dean himself.

When he realized this, Castiel's cheeks gained a barely detectable rosy tint because he also realized that Dean was lying on his back, slammed against the floor, and Castiel was on top of him in a very…unusual position. To say the least, their legs had gotten pretty tangled for two guys who didn't like each other and just had a "misunderstanding" that ended in this, all in fewer than five minutes.

Dean laughed and Castiel could feel his body shake through his own. "A simple 'good morning' would have been enough, Cas," he remarked in a self-confident and snarky but good-hearted tone.

"I…I apologize…" Cass sputtered out, trying to remain his calm and stoic self in a situation as unexpected as this.

"No need, the pleasure was all mine," said Dean, in what Cas almost thought was a flirty tone, but he probably just talked to everyone like that. He was a "lady's man" after all.

Cas felt himself being lifted up and plopped down in a sitting position by two very strong, sturdy arms. He felt safe, secure. He loved the feeling and he…_Did Dean just…_ Cas began to search for the correct word, but didn't find anything good enough so settled on something mediocre. _Dean's hand just lingered on my chest! _He was practically ecstatic, but his face showed none of that and Dean's hands were gone soon thereafter.

In such a daze from having Dean be so intimate with him, Cas didn't even notice until he spoke again that Dean had even left the room.

"Hey, Cas. I've got somethin for you and me to do today. Wanna come?"

Cas wanted to come very much, and he told Dean so. Saying he would be back in five minutes, he left to go to his park bench and regain his composure. He couldn't go into the Impala, such close quarters, in this state of mind.

At five minutes on the second, Castiel returned with the sound of wings flapping and his trench coat rustling. Hearing the sound, Dean smiled and put on a clean shirt. He grabbed Castiel's trench coat, as per the usual way of getting him around without having to check back every couple of seconds because of a nagging feeling that he wandered off, and dragged him off towards the Impala.

They got on their way, and soon Castiel recognized the path they were taking. "Are we going to the pet store, Dean?" he inquired.

"There's a snowballs chance," answered Dean, only serving to confuse the angel more, just as he knew it would.

Finally they were there, and Dean brought Castiel inside. "Dean, I don't understand. Why are we back here? Did we not succeed in smiting the Mambabarang?" His voice was full of concern, so Dean decided to get to the point quickly.

"Don't worry, Cas. She's long dead. I brought you here because I wanted to get you a hamster." At that, Castiel's eyes widened and Dean's breath was taken away at how blue they were. Then he remembered he was in the middle of speaking, so he inhaled and continued.

"I can just see you are trying so hard. You're eating, you're pretending to sleep, your drinking beers, pretending you give a crap about half the stupid things I do. I just wanted you to know…I just wanted to thank you for it. But Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"You don't have to pretend. You're an angel, I know that. And I don't want you to ever change. Not for me, not for anyone. Ever, you hear?"

Castiel smiled, and Dean felt like the sun had lit up within him. "I hear you, Dean."

"Good, now let's get you a hamster!" Dean yelled, loud enough to cause some stares in his direction. He took off running down the aisle, and Castiel didn't need to be tugged by his trench coat. He wanted to follow. He would follow this man to the ends of the Earth, to Hell and back, anywhere he went. Cas wasn't going anywhere..


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello my friends! Sorry I didn't get this chapter in for a while. I was juggling a test and writing my other fanfic (which you should read if you haven't yet!). Anyway, it's here now so enjoy! Oh, and I don't own Supernatural.**

Cas sat in the "shotgun," which was a term that didn't really make sense to him, and looked back at the cage where his new hamster was sleeping.

"It seems so at peace."

"Yep…" Dean said absent mindedly. He was realizing that Castiel might not really be able to take care of the hamster all the time, seeing as he would be up in Heaven with his little angel buddies doing who knows what. Did that mean that he would have to take care of it? He probably should have thought about this more.

"Can I… hold him?" asked Castiel hopefully, but tentatively.

"Hell no. Not in my baby—" Dean began to answer, but was cut off when he looked over and saw Castiel's searching, wishful blue eyes staring back, "I mean…Yeah, sure. Go ahead." Damn this nerdy little angel. Why did he have such a hold on Dean?

Castiel's face broke into a giant smile, in angel standards, at least. He twisted around and grabbed the little rodent's cage. Putting it on his lap, he opened the top and reached his hand in. He pulled out the little squirming animal and cradled it in his hands. He wore a sweet smile as he held the hamster up to his face.

Dean looked at him and thought how weird it was that something like an angel, who smites human beings so quickly and without thought, could be so gentle and caring to a simple creature like a hamster.

"Look, Dean! Its whiskers are brushing my cheeks!"

It was unbelievable how childish this man could be. Dean tried to look at it like he found it annoying, but it was so goddamn cute.

For the rest of the car ride Castiel held the hamster and pointed out all the things about it that were "delightful" or "endearing." Dean just nodded, smiled, and wondered to himself if this nerdy little angel could get anymore adorable.

Dean walked into the skeevy hotel room, "Sammy?" he called.

"Dude, what the hell? Where have you guys been?" Sam hollered back from the bathroom.

"Dean and I went and purchased a hamster!" Castiel practically yelled, clearly excited.

Sam walked into the room, but stopped when he saw what Castiel was holding. "You went and purchased a…What?"

"A hamster, Sam! Look!"

Sam didn't think he had ever seen Cas look so animated about anything. "Oh…Right. Yeah, of course. What….What's its name?" he asked, trying to sound like he supported this strange occurrence, or even understood it.

Castiel looked at Dean, then at the hamster, then back to Dean. "We need a name, Dean!"

"How 'bout…Pudding!" Dean concluded. That had come to be what he said when he didn't have any other good ideas. He thought it fit well this time.

"Pudding…As in the gelatinous desert?" Cas inquired, with a tilt of his head.

Dean nodded, and Castiel thought about it for a couple seconds. Finally, he nodded as well and a smile broke out on his face. He held the cage up to eye level and looked at the small, furry creature inside. "You are now Pudding, little one!"

By the time it was evening, Dean and Sam were sitting on the bed cleaning their machetes and were very surprised to find that Castiel was still with them, playing with his new pet.

"How long do you think it'll be 'til he goes back upstairs?" wondered Sam aloud.

"I don't know. I'm surprised he stayed this long."

Castiel had never had a pet before and he was very enlivened by the curious little creature. He knew that he should get back to Heaven, that he had work to do, but he just wanted to stay with it a little longer. Not only did he love being with it, the hamster was an excuse to stay with Dean.

"Dean…I should go," Cas said reluctantly.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. I'll take care of the ham—I mean, I'll take care of Pudding for you."

"Thank you, Dean," he replied. And with the sound of wings and trenchcoats flapping, he was gone. It felt a little lonelier in the room all of a sudden.

Dean was entranced. He had been staring at this hamster for more than an hour and he couldn't seem to break away. It had such a strange, hypnotic hold on him. _I should not have bought it that stupid wheel, _he thought. "Hamsters need regular exercise" they had said.Did they take into account the fact that it would change his whole goddamn outlook on relationships?

I guess blaming that all on the hamster and the store clerk wasn't really fair. Maybe it was in him all along. In fact, that was probably the case. But Dean liked the idea of blaming it on other people more.

This hamster and it's frickin wheel. Castiel and his frickin questions. _"Why is Pudding always running on his wheel, Dean? Doesn't he know he isn't going anywhere?"_

Dean didn't know what to tell Cas at the time, so he decided to watch the hamster to see if he could figure it out. The more he watched the hamster, the more time he had to think. And the more time he had to think, the more he actually _did_ think. If anyone knew the bad things that thinking did to a person, it was Dean Winchester. He carried on, though. He wanted to be able to answer Castiel's question.

At first he was thinking about why the hamster ran on the wheel, sure, but being a pretty egotistical bastard, his thoughts soon reverted back to himself. It had gone from _"Why would the hamster keep running on his wheel if he knew that it just went around in circles?_" to _"Why do I keep pretending I don't feel anything for Cas when I know we're just going through fake motions and we could be so much more?"_

And yes, Dean knew that was a pretty big leap to make in such a short time. But it really wasn't a short time at all, was it? It was a painfully long time in which Dean was all alone with his thoughts, all alone to ponder what he was doing with his life and why he was doing it. As mentioned before, he had been staring at the hamster, pondering, for over an hour. _Pondering will be the death of me, _he thought to himself bitterly.

But still, Dean couldn't get the idea that Castiel was more than a friend out of his head. I mean, Dean did have those moments where he thought…No. Those moments were pushed far to the back of his head. Far to the place where he put thoughts that were too bad or embarrassing to even think about. Or as he liked to call it, Dean's Corner.

Looking back at that stupid hamster running on its wheel, though, was dragging unwanted things out of Dean's Corner. Things he didn't want to think about. Things that he rarely let escape. This particular "thing" had been escaping far too much recently for Dean's taste. Up until now he had been able to shove them back into the Corner. _Nobody puts Castiel in a corner,_ a little voice in his head joked sadistically.

He knew he couldn't stop it from coming out, he was going to think about it sooner or later. He might as well get it off his chest now, before Sam came back from the diner (hopefully with pie) or Cas came back from where ever it is he went.

"Am I in love with an angel?" he whispered, finally relenting and letting his mind speak out loud what it had been suppressing all this time.

Dean was so absorbed in thinking about the hamster, his own feelings, and most of all, Castiel, that he didn't even notice when the angel himself appeared just behind him.

"Hello, Dean. How is Pudding?" asked a very serious voice.

Hearing Castiel say Pudding in such a stoic way was so comical that it almost made Dean laugh. But then he realized what he had been thinking about previously, very previously, and he stopped himself. Angels _did_ have that whole mind-reading thing. What if Cas could sense what he had started feeling, or rather, discovered he had been feeling? Wait a second…

"Cas, how long have you been there?" Dean demanded, more than a little worried.

"Approximately seventy eight seconds," he answered flatly.

Seventy eight seconds? _Seventy eight seconds?_ Had he heard what Dean had said? Did Dean want him to hear what he had said? God dammit, Dean hated when his mind let him thinking. He shouldn't have let Sam leave him alone.

Cas could see Dean's mind going at one thousand miles a second, and decided to put him out of his misery, "If you are asking whether I heard you or not," he paused, Dean holding his breath, not quite sure what for, "The answer is yes."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my lovelies! This is the last chapter and I'm sorry it's shorter than the others, but don't be sad. I am still writing The Fate of a Freewill Angel, and I'm sure I'll be writing more fanfics soon. I would just like to ask anyone who wants to help a new writer to give me reviews! They are always super appreciated, and if I know who you are I'll read yours and give you reviews too! Win-win, yes? Well, I don't own Supernatural as we all know, so read and enjoy!**

Castiel's face remained unreadable; he was an angel, after all. Inside, though, he was screaming, yelling, dancing even. He had never felt so joyful, so ecstatic in all of his life. And he had lived for a long, long time.

Dean didn't know what to say. He was glad that Castiel finally knew, but he was disappointed that everything they had built up over these years, friendship, brotherhood, love, whatever, would be gone.

"Oh," was all he said, but that one simple interjection held so much more. Castiel knew it, too. He knew how conflicted Dean was. He felt sorry that he was causing it. He was happier that it was happening at all, though.

Although Castiel was overjoyed that Dean felt this way, he didn't know how to put how he himself felt into a few, simple, human words. He decided that Dean had summed it up nicely, and he wanted to go that route.

"Well, that angel might have fallen for a human, Dean," he muttered, just loud enough to be sure that Dean could hear him.

"That angel might've…Oh God, Cas. That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard!" exclaimed Dean, suddenly finding the whole thing very funny and entering what would be a long laughing fit.

Castiel found the whole ordeal slightly frustrating. What had he said that was so "cheesy?" It didn't seem fair for Dean to laugh at him this way, when he was only trying to express his affection for the man!

Dean broke out of his laughing fit only to see Cas looking very upset and insecure. He realized that Cas might have thought he was laughing at the mere fact that Cas reciprocated his emotions. He didn't want that! But…then it sunk it. Cas loves me back? _Cas loves me back? Cas loves me back!_

He couldn't stand this perfect, beautiful, nerdy little angel to look so dejected for another minute. He got up quickly, knocking a chair over in the process, and grabbed Cas by the shoulders.

"Dean, what on Earth…?"

"Cas… I love you!"

And at that, they both smiled. Cas was clearly unsure how to show he returned the feelings, and Dean knew that he had to demonstrate the proper way.

He leaned in and kissed Cas on the lips, slowly but with force. Cas was shocked, he had never been so close to anyone in all of his time in Heaven or on Earth. This odd display of affection, which Dean had previously called a kiss, was brilliant. It was so simple. When words ran out, it was there, waiting to express what they couldn't.

Castiel could practically feel the love, the raw energy, radiating between them. He could feel it coursing through his veins, seeping into his mind, infiltrating even his Grace. He suddenly felt complete where he didn't even know he had felt unfinished.

Dean smiled and broke away. He looked down at the hamster. It was still running on its wheel. His smile faded, and Dean pitied Pudding. He would run on that wheel his whole life, never being able to get off and live a true life. Never being able to break the cycle, discover something greater, or find something so beautiful he never thought it possible.

Pudding, even though he was just a tiny rodent, had given Dean something that he would never be able to repay. He looked straight into Castiel's beautiful blue eyes, so stunning they took his breath away every time, and he knew what he had to do. He had to at least try.

Castiel, Dean, and a cardboard box containing Pudding were standing in a golden yellow field. It was so picturesque Dean had to keep reminding himself it was actually happening, that it wasn't just a dream.

"Are you ready, Dean?" Castiel asked, holding Dean's free hand tightly as the other held Pudding's box to his chest.

"Yeah, ready."

Dean put the cardboard box on the ground, and together they knelt down and opened it. The strong, tough, masculine hunter reached in and scooped out the tiny little creature gently, with a surprising amount of affection.

He held the little hamster up to his face, and began to speak to it, to say goodbye to it.

"Pudding, you gave me something more important than money, booze, woman, fame, anything. Before I had this something, I was killing monsters, saving people, sure. But for what? I got avenged Mom, so what was I even hunting for? I didn't have any good reason. Now I have someone I love, someone I need, someone who I feel more for than anyone I've ever known."

At this Castiel broke into a smile, he knew that Dean loved him, but this was more than love. This was devotion. This was…perfection.

"Now I have something worth fighting for. Thank you, Pudding, for giving me that reason."

Castiel kissed the little hamster's head, and stared into its eyes, as if he were saying a telepathic goodbye. The hamster stared back, as if he understood. Dean than knelt down again, and put his hands on the ground. Pudding looked back and twitched his whiskers, a final goodbye, and then ran off into the meadow.

Whatever happened now, the cycle was broken. He didn't have to run on a wheel anymore, and Dean was content, truly happy, for the first time since he could remember.

Walking away from that field, Castiel finally understood why humans have pets. They are simple. Boring, even. But they show their owners more about themselves than any other human can. They show them their faults, their fears, what they need. And they do it all by instinctual actions. Eating, sleeping, running, listening. Bringing them to the basics just to show them that they are capable of more. They show humans that love, compassion, the higher emotions that make humans human, are too important to take for granted. If you listen to your pet, really listen, they will teach you to live.


End file.
